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[oldglory]

text – call – action – other

Comments

[smashed]

[ Noooooooooooo. He's not ready for this. He doesn't know how this works or what to do!!! This is cruel and unusual!! ]

I'll put it under advisement. It will have to be discussed and all parties in agreement.

[oldglory]

[ Tough!!! He should've thought about that before he talked to Steve at the bar and took him out on a date and made him fall for him. ]

Fine. Just keep in mind I'm not having sex with you if the dog's there.

[smashed]

[ A.) he was drunk that night, B.) Steve could've said no to the date, and C.) TJ is expressly ignoring any falling for of any kind. ]

You have no sense of domestic adventure.

[oldglory]

[ He can ignore it all he wants. It won't stop it from happening. ]

I don't know if I'd call that an adventure. Besides, we could still get caught outside the bedroom. Not like we'd be able to keep the dog out of the living room.

Or the kitchen.

[smashed]

[ YES IT WILL. ]

Planning on defiling my entire apartment, are you?

[oldglory]

[ nope.gif ]

You're the one who said he wanted adventure. [ So, yes. ]

[smashed]

[ DOESN'T HE HAVE SOME HEROING TO DO???? ]

Hope you've got some tricks packed away in that utility belt of yours, Rogers. Having sex in the kitchen or the living room isn't exactly an adventure these days.

[oldglory]

[ NOT RIGHT THIS SECOND. ]

Right, adventure means getting bitten by a dog mid-coitus.

[smashed]

[ THERE'S PROBABLY SOME CAT THAT COULD USE HELP GETTING OUT OF A TREE. ]

I can't believe you just used mid-coitus at me.

[oldglory]

[ HE CAN'T LEAVE HE'S AWAITING ORDERS. ]

You got a problem with that?

[smashed]

[ What happened to his rule breaking?????? ]

I do. Yes. Should I just start calling you grandpa now, or later?

[oldglory]

[ That's only when he doesn't agree with the rules. ]

Please don't. Between that and the dog, we might never have sex again.

[smashed]

[ Oh whatever. Excuses. ]

Oh you pretty much cut yourself off from coitus there, buddy.

[oldglory]

[ No, it's the truth justice and the American way. ]

You used it this time, not me!

[smashed]

[ Go choke on a hotdog. ]

I was not so subtly letting you know what cut you off.

[oldglory]

[ That's so rude. ]

I got the message. And I don't think it's very fair.

[smashed]

[ Truth hurts. ]

I'm sure I might be open to hearing your persuasions of why you should get to have sex with me again.

1/

[oldglory]

My first and most compelling reason is that we both enjoy it more when we're having sex.

In punishing me you're also punishing yourself and I don't think you're the type to want to do that.

[oldglory]

Unless you'd rather have sex with other people.

[oldglory]

Which is fine. [ Dammit. ] It's totally fine if you want to [ ... ] do that.

done

[oldglory]

[ A few seconds of feeling like an idiot later. ]

I forgot what my other points were.

[smashed]

[ What the shit...? ]

So. Your ultimate argument for having sex with me, is me having sex with other people.

[oldglory]

[ Okay that came out wrong. ]

Of course not! That's not what I meant.

[smashed]

[ Ya think?? ]

What did you mean, then? You're fine with me seeing other people?

[ WOW DID HE CERTAINLY MISREAD EVERYTHING. ]

[oldglory]

[ He sighs at his phone. ]

No, I'm not fine with it.

[ After a moment of staring at his phone, he fires off one more message before he can talk himself out of it. ]

So does that mean you don't?